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She exhausts easily under the pressure to be fascinating.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to
be a horrible warning. Catherine Aird
Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.
Rita Mae Brown
Never eat more than you can lift. Miss
Piggy
Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the
most.
Procrastination gives you something to look forward
to. Joan Konner
Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand. George
Eliot
He who laughs last didn't get it. Helen
Giangregorio
Start out slow, then taper off.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several
days attack me at once.
The whole purpose of perfect is to make everyone else
feel bad.
Instant gratification isn't soon enough. Meryl
Streep
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? Phyllis
Diller
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. Ernestine
Ulmer
It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. Mae
West
I've been on a calendar, but never on time. Marilyn
Monroe
I may be a dumb blonde, but I'm not that blonde. Patricia
Neal
My mind is a bad neighborhood that I try not to go
into alone. Anne Lamott
God is love, but get it in writing. Gypsy
Rose Lee
Born Right the First Time.
Religions change; beer and wine remain.
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.
Mothers, food, love, career: the four major guilt
groups. Cathy Guisewhite
Hey, I may not be much, but I'm all I think about.
Anne Lamott
Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing.
Billy Rose
Never give a party if you'll be the most interesting
person there. Micky Friedman
I don't care what is written about me as long as it
isn't true. Katherine Hepburn
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given
birth. Erma Bombeck
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids
in touch.
I'm the Queen of Everything.
A hundred years from now? All new people. Anne
Lamott
By the time we've made it, we've had it. Malcolm
Forbes
Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
W.C. Fields
If I had my life to live over, I'd live it over a
delicatessen.
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser
gets anything. Bill Lyon
Why is life so tough? Perhaps it was cooked too long.
UNC-C Philosophy Dept.
As to posterity, I may ask what has it ever done for
us? Thomas Gray
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
Exercise daily. Eat wisely. Die anyway.
My goal is to die young at a very old age.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. Dorothy
Parker
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. Mae
West.
If I had my life to live again, I'd make the same
mistakes, only sooner. Tallulah Bankhead
My heart is pure as the driven slush. Tallulah
Bankhead
Macho does not prove mucho. Zsa Zsa
Gabor
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. Sophia
Loren
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's
for lunch. Orson Welles
I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire
the problem. Ashleigh Brilliant
There is so little difference between husbands you
might as well keep the first. Adela
Rogers St. Johns
I've married a few people I shouldn't have, but haven't
we all? Mamie Van Doren
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready
for an institution yet. Mae West
If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. Ted
Turner
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Fred Allen
When I feel athletic, I go to a sports bar. Paul
Clisura
Baseball is like church. Many attend but few understand.
The two most important things in life are good friends
and a strong bullpen. Bob Lemon
Fans don't boo nobodies. Reggie Jackson
There have only been two geniuses in the world: Willie
Mayes and Willie Shakespeare. Tallulah
Bankhead
Are we playing men's rules today or do we have to
count every putt?
I am a deeply superficial person.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have
been more specific. Lily Tomlin
I've never been drunk but often I've been overserved.
George Gobel
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know
where to shop.
Cats are like Baptists. They raise hell but you can't
catch them at it.
Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message
and get back to you. Mary Bly
I'm giving my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm
going to Lourdes. Woody Allen
Anything worth doing is worth doing frantically. Jane
Tower
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